Pink Guilt.
I don’t really like any pink colored things especially clothes but I got run out of choice with this pink booties so I just pair it up with my black shredded shirt. This is one of the bunch of shirts I shredded with my cruel hands and it’s still counting.
Pink bag (St. Francis Square Mall)
Pink boots (SM Mall)
Black shirt (Divisoria)
High waist shorts (Mom’s old closet)
ㅡxoxoㅡ
True Blue.
Obviously, blue is my favorite color and today I tend to used different shades of blue for my outfit.
Superman tee (Tutuban Mall)
Light Blue short (Mom’s old closet)
Blue & Gray stripped sneaks (Kicks, SM Mall)
—xoxo—
—White Lies, You Still Love Him
But you still fell and though you are already standing tall and straight, you will always temp to look down to see what was left… what you left. The feeling that a part of you was there… your false feelings, a person that changed your life and even your heart. Sometimes life is really cruel. You never know when will it take you back to something you never want to look back, like where something painful exist. Then a moment will come where confusion will bother you, your heart will beat unconciously abnormal and that you will literally try to shake your head to change what’s on your mind.
Is it even possible? I mean to live forward and leave something behind? Something that has been a big part of your life? of what you have become now? I don’t know. Here goes the questions again. They’ve always been left unanswered and unspoken.
ㅡxoxoㅡ
—myownopinion
It has been a long time since the last time I wrote this kind of thing. I’m not really sure if you you call this blogging so whatever. I’ll do this anyway, no matter what.
My life for the past 6 months has been through a lot of change and if I start narrating what exactly happened from last year, I think I’ll just cry again and won’t be able to finish this entry for the first day of June. The last few months of my last year was the most memorable or rather tragedic event of my life to the point where I never trusted anyone and I always try to be happy to please everyone though deep inside I’m breaking, turning into peices. I don’t want to write what exactly happened then because I know it would only make them feel guilty. They might think that I’m still mad about what happened and besides they are my friends, after all I still want to do something in return of the good things they’ve done or given to me.
When this year started, I searched for some things that would make me feel better cause I was still very dramatic, frustrated and full of hate. Bitterness lasts for about months but I tried to look for real happiness that does not require a fake smile and pretentious behavior. That was when I got more into music exploration. Ever since I was a child, music has been part of my life. I love listening to some random music with my family influenced me. My personal music genre is Rock, Alternative and Metal Rock. Yeah, just imagine me with everything-black-outfit, heavy eyeliners, long bangs that covers my left eye and my head phones. You can say that I was living on the dark world despite of my relationship with God who gives me hope and all that. You know I just can’t get off easily of that kind of living.
But like I said, everything now has been changed. My black and white life was now painted with neon shades of colors and it was when I turned into a full pledge KPop fanatic. Yes, I am now. If you heard me ranting about how much I hate KPop before well, you better start thinking that I was in karma. But you know, you will never realize how it feels as long as you experience it yourself.
Being a KPop fanatic is just like supporting a local band or singer but the only thing is, you get to support not only their music but also the life of the singers themselves. Ok, I’ll say this straight forward. I support EXO. Supporting them includes loving them, caring for them, and believing them to be successful for the next 10 years.
I was so thankful to be a KPop fanatic or an EXO stan in particular cause I’ve realized what lies beyond this life. I mean, this is where I found my happiness. I became more eager to do my best in everything I will do. I was even motivated this school year so then after I graduate, I’d be able to do everything I want and one of them is to visit the land where it all started, Seoul in South Korea.
To sum it all up, EXO is one of the reason now why am I what I am now besides from my family and of course God.
So, everything has changed but I know this will be for good.
—xoxo—
—myownopinion
Sorry if I wasn’t there beside you. Sorry if I didn’t read your text message cause my stupid freaking phone was dead. Sorry if I wasn’t able to comfort you when you need me. I’m very sorry for I didn’t followed you. I should have known. I should have known that you were broke and in much pain. I should have followed you and help you forget what you felt then. I just don’t feel the guilt for what happened before but I should have been there so you won’t loose me.now. I should been there, I should have been but it’s too late for it has almost been 2 years of regretting what I should have done. I’m so sorry for the late apology but remember that the sympathy I’ve felt before as just the same as I feel now. Please forgive me.
—xoxo—
Overwhelming happiness. That would probably beat describe how I feel right now. It was like I’m gonna cry with so much happiness. Breaking Dawn Part 2 was like the most and the best thing ever! I never expected that they could make the best even more the best.
It was years ago when I first find out about Stephenie Meyer’s The Twilight Saga series. I could clearly remember when I read it all in eBook. That was also the time when I figured out that I have an interest in reading novels.
The story itself may be so fiction or cheesy or something but for me, it’s the best thing I’ve ever read. You know as one of the hopeless.romantic in the fairytale land, it really reached my expectation about love and everything.
I could also remember when I was so crazy about Twilight Saga and everything about it like from the casts, music score, directors, author, on how the story was made, to the magazine, books, posters and the merchandise. It was probably the most craziest experience of my life ever.
If only I could turn back time from those time so I would see myself smiling again like a little child who went to a toy store. Now that it’s already the last film of the series, I feel like crying for I will miss it. Like what I felt about the ending of Harry Potter. HU-HU-HU I just wish that I could have the chance to meer the casts of twilight espeacially Kristen Stewart whom I adore so much since she started even before twilight had started.
Hmm. I just can’t keep on smiling on remembering and writing this. Well, I’ll miss Twilight Saga. ( ;-,-)0
—xoxo—
It has been months since the last time we talk or see each other and the last time we parted was like the most tormenting feeling EVER! I know I’m exaggerating things but thats just how it is cause for damn sake, I was hurt!
Well, I don’t know why am I this way. I’ve been depressing myself for what happened though I know I shouldn’t be. The first weeks were very dreadful, torturing as I still see the girl, the girl who…. who… the girl who fucking mess up my life. So the bitterness within me lasted for almost a month but as time pass by, I was able to learn how to manage my distress.
Before, he was always on my mind like everything I do I always think of doing it with him. Like eating my favorite chocolate cake, watching our favorite movie and dreaming for the future. Don’t you think it feels nice?
Anyway, so well now I feel more better. I’m finally learning how to live without thinking about him. I had finally learned that some things including people would not last in your life. They might pass by in your life and build friendship with you but not everything will stay. Some have to leave and will definitely cause you pain. That’s human nature, people get hurt when someone so special leave them for good.
But thankfully, I’m learning to accept things in this world. I just have to be patient and strong to continue from learning and conquer life.
—xoxo—
Well since that tragedy happened (that’s how I usually call it), I’ve been more observant with what she act or does.
For almost a year, I thought she’s nice and all that- that I’ve put so much of my trust on her but then reality always comes out. It was really ureasonable for her to do that thing to me. Well, I know partly it was my fault but *DamnIt* Didn’t she even think that this would happen? I mean did she even think that I would be hurt? Buwisit na tukso yan! It’s not even a valid reason cause it wouldn’t happen unless she did bite the devil’s trick.
I don’t know if I would be mad to her or to the ‘other’ who is involve cause seriously, am I the only one allowed to feel this way?
But now, look how she does it. I mean she’s been showing off her true colors little by little which gives me souch relief cause I don’t need to tell stories or even convince them what she did to me.
Ok I don’t wanna.remember anything anymore. I’ll probably just shut my mind, my eyes, and my heart.
-xoxo-
It has been years since the last time I check in here on my blog and I guess, I need this again to blurt out all my dilemma about life. Well, I know I should be telling all this to God for I know He’s the only one who could help me here but then, I wanted to post it so people would know that they are not alone. I mean they could relate themselves to me, right?
Anyway, so here’s my dilemma. I’m actually just torturing myself with the thought of being left behind by someone whom I thought would never leave me alone. It hurts whenever I think about it but then when I realize it’s really happening in reality, I think I’m gonna die. Like truly die especially when all those happy memories that I had with my.. I mean with that person flashes back? *ugh!* then I was like day dreaming again and my emotion would just suddenly divert from longing to smiling-out-of-nowhere. I don’t know if this is normal or if this even justify my own feelings. Ok just in case you’re confuse, I’m already talking about my love life or maybe an-almost-life-for-my-love. ALMOST. Yes.
If only I could write my whole story here I would but surely it would consume a lot of space so if you want to know a little story of my life you can read my wattpad story.
Anyway, so… my problem was about that particular person who’s not texting or calling me anymore. Not even a message on facebook or something. I don’t exactly know what to feel but one thing’s for sure and that is I miss him very very super duper mega ultra much. Ok, I’m just lucky he’s not so much about online thingy so I know he won’t be able to read this.
-xoxo-
I just check out this blog http://teamcantaloupe.tumblr.com is it yours? I love your entries too.
My older sister just bought her new phone which I envy a lot. It was a Samsung Galaxy Y and her old phone, Samsung GT-E2230M phone was handed-down to me and my old phone Samsung was now used by my little sister. That’s how cell phone cycle goes in our family. Crazy yet it is true. I could still remember the first phone I’ve ever use was a Nokia 3310 but it was not handed-down to my little sister cause she doesn’t want to use that kind of phone. Who would ever want to right? Even though it was a very long time ago, I can’t still forget that part of my life.
Actually, I just got home from SM Lanzaro and had my new haircut after 6 months. I was a free treat from my friend and I felt very glad that after planning many times in cutting my hair, it did come true. I trimmed almost 5 inch length of my hair because it could almost reach my waistline plus it was getting drier at the bottom. I love my new hair and I just realize that I’m looking sort of old whenever my hair is super long. Now, I’d just love to be very vain and took pictures of myself.
I just figure out my new addiction and it was a much unexpected thing ‘cause I never really plan buying a Tagalog romance pocketbook. I just bought my first 3 PHR Pocketbook from my ever favorite novel writer Sonia Francesca. You know it’s kindda surprising on how did I get so into it. One thing is for sure, I’m hopeless romantic.
-xoxo-
Time flies, time flies so fast. I still can’t get over how good year 2011 was for me. So many things happened to be forgotten so easily, from the last months of being a high school student and to the first month of being a college student. Leaving your long time friends and meeting up new bunch of friends. It was hard especially missing those people whom you used to be with but, just like what other people say, life must go on. This year, I look forward on making myself a little more mature in every aspect. I’d be, most probably be going on with my life by myself. This appears to me like it was more of a challenge than to be a hard thing to do. I’d be more careful on the things I decide and the things I’d be taking to be part of my life like the new friends and the new environment that I am in.
2012 please be very good to me. I know last year, I’ve been so weak and I’ve been carried away most of the time from my little-sensitive emotions. This year, I wouldn’t let it destruct me again, ever! I’d look forward more in making myself more productive and self-reliant. Also, I will try to find my real interest and on what career will I pursue after college. If it is in fashion industry? Business industry? Novelist? I don’t know ‘cause up to until now, I’m still puzzling about my decision.
Most importantly, I’ll look forward in communicating with God more often. Not only when I’m in trouble or in a test but whenever I have something that I want to blurt out. I want to be with Him as I go on with this year. I hope I could post more about what is happening in my life here and share to everyone the lessons I’ve learn after every events that I am in. We don’t always learn in our love life experiences but also in our life with God.
-xoxo-
